YOU CAN'T TAKE IT WITH YOU by Moss Hart and George S. Kaufman
Since its premiere in 1936, Kaufman and Hart’s YOU CAN’T TAKE IT WITH YOU has captivated audiences with its wit, warmth, and charm. At the heart of the story is the delightfully eccentric Vanderhof family, who live “just around the corner from Columbia University—but don’t go looking for it.” Leading the clan is Grandpa Martin Vanderhof, a free-spirited patriarch who has embraced a life of simple joys. His granddaughter, Alice, is a bright, loving young woman whose only worry is how her unconventional family will be received by her new fiancé, Tony—a polished, strait-laced Wall Street heir. When the two families collide (so unlike in manner, politics and finances), the result is a hilarious and heartwarming exploration of love, family, and the things that truly enrich our lives. After all, you can’t take it with you.
Martin “Grandpa” Vanderhof; Preferred age: 60 and up. Referred to mostly as Grandpa in the play. Father-in-law to Paul, father of Penny, grandfather of Alice and Essie. He is an eccentric happy old man who just quit his job one day and hasn’t paid any taxes since because he feels that the government doesn’t know what to do with the money, anyway. He lives his life by the philosophy: “Don't do anything that you're not going to enjoy doing.” He goes to circuses, commencements, throws darts, and collects stamps. A challenging role, with big monologue in the end.
Penelope “Penny” Sycamore; Preferred age: 40 and up. Usually goes by Penny. Penelope is the mother of Essie and Alice, wife of Paul, and daughter of Martin. She writes plays and paints as hobbies because it makes her happy, but is terrible at both. Penny is a loving mother and wife and is constantly concerned with the welfare of her family. Her main goal is to make sure everyone is happy, particularly her daughter Alice. On stage almost all the time.
Paul Sycamore; Preferred age: 40 and up. Father of Essie and Alice, husband of Penny, Son-in-law of Martin. He is a Tinkerer who manufactures fireworks in the basement with the help of his assistant, Mr. De Pinna. His hobby is playing with erector sets. A simple, common fatherly figure with heart.
Alice Sycamore; Preferred age: 20 and up. Fiancé of Tony Kirby, daughter of Paul and Penny, Granddaughter of Martin, sister of Essie. She is the only "normal" family member. She has an office job, and is rather embarrassed by the eccentricities of her family, yet she still loves them. She falls for the boss Tony Kirby and when she has him and his parents over to her families house for dinner, things don’t go as planned. She tends to be a pessimist. The actress for Alice needs to show characteristics of love, embarrassment, worry, and many more. She needs to be able to live in both worlds.
Tony Kirby; Preferred age: 25 and up. Fiancé of Alice, Son of Mr. and Mrs. Kirby. He sees how, even though the Sycamores appear odd, they are really the perfect family because they love and care about each other. His own family is very proper and has many issues that none of them will admit to. He is vice president of Kirby and Co. This actor will need to have an adorable properness to him. The audience will need to be on Tony’s side right from the start.
Anthony W. Kirby; Preferred age: 50 and up. Husband of Mrs. Kirby, father of Tony. He is a very proper man who is president of Kirby and Co. and secretly despises his job. His hobby is raising expensive orchids. He is also a member of the Harvard Society, the Union Club, the National Geographic Society, and the Racquet Club. He has gotten used to being rich and snobby and has forgotten what it means to care and have empathy for others.
Miriam Kirby; Preferred age: 45 and up. Wife of Mr. Kirby, mother of Tony. She is an extremely prim and proper woman and is horrified by the goings-on in the Sycamore household. Her hobby is spiritualism. A small, female role, but one that shows a great deal of emotion.
Essie Carmichael; Preferred age: 18 and up. Wife of Ed, daughter of Penny and Paul Sycamore, Granddaughter of Martin, sister of Alice. She is childish. As a hobby, she makes candy that Ed sells. Essie dreams of being a ballerina. She has spent years studying with Boris Kolenkhov, but is a terrible dancer. You must perform these embarrassing, bad dances keeping a very straight face, truly believing you are a premier ballerina.
Ed Carmichael; Preferred age: 18 and up. Husband of Essie, son-in-law of Paul and Penny. He is a xylophone player, and distributes Essie's candies. Ed is an amateur printer who prints anything that sounds good to him. He prints up dinner menus for his family and little quotes that he places in the boxes of Essie's candy. He also likes to make masks. The actor will need to be confident in all his crafts and the innocence of them, and show meekness when he is later confronted with a visit from the feds. A truly innocent and sweet soul.
Boris Kolenkhov; Preferred age: 40 and up. A Russian who escaped to America shortly before the Russian Revolution. He is very concerned with world politics, and the deterioration of Russia. He is the ballet instructor of Essie, aware that she is untalented at dancing, but knows that she enjoys dancing so he keeps working with her. He likes the Greeks and the Romans, questions society, and is interested in world affairs. He is opinionated and often loudly declares that something "stinks"! He will need to be able to support Essie physically while dancing, and keep a straight face.
Mr. De Pinna; Preferred age: 30 and up. The iceman who came inside to speak to Paul five years before, and never left. He helps Mr. Sycamore build fireworks, and moonlights as a model in Mrs. Sycamore's paintings. He is a nutty guy. This is kind of a side-kick role to Paul. Witty, random jokes. A perfect role for someone who can have a lot of fun designing a uniquely written character.
Rheba; Preferred age: 35 and up. The live – in maid and cook to the Sycamore family. She is dating Donald. She is onstage a lot, always watching. She has been long time friends of the family and is used to their eccentricities and loves them for it.
Donald; Preferred age: 25 and up. The boyfriend of Rheba, who serves as volunteer handyman for the Sycamores, since he is always there. In the words of Mrs. Sycamore, “The two of them are really cute together.”
The Grand Duchess Olga Katrina; Preferred age: 40 and up. She was one of the Grand Duchesses of Russia before the Revolution, another being her sister, the Grand Duchess Natasha. Since then, she has been forced to flee to America, where she has found work as a waitress in Childs Restaurant. The rest of her family has had a similar fate, such as her Uncle Sergei, the Grand Duke, who is now an elevator man. She loves to cook as a hobby. This character will appear later in the play, and the actress needs to be able to be a bit over-the-top. Russian accent is desired.
Gay Wellington; Preferred age: 50 and up. An aging actress whom Mrs. Sycamore meets on a bus and invites home to read one of her plays. She is an alcoholic, missing her glory days as an ingénue, gets very drunk and passes out shortly after arriving at the Sycamore's home. The actress mustn’t be afraid to be physically carried by another actor, and can act “passed out”, in hilarious positions, without breaking character, for extended periods of time.
Wilbur C. Henderson; Preferred age: 20 and up. An employee of the IRS. He comes to collect the tax money owed by Grandpa, and can't understand why the latter won't pay income tax. A go-getter, eager beaver type. Must be steadfast in his belief that taxes are a necessary evil, but not mean about it. More confused by Grandpa. A one-scene role.
Government Agents (G-Man 1:The Man, G-Man 2: Jim, G-Man 3: Mac): 20s-up - Three agents who come to investigate Ed because of the communist origin of some of the 'catchy' quotes he printed and placed in Essie's candy boxes, such as "God is the State – the State is God" and "Dynamite the White House".